You've spent your life chronicling and reading of the lives of others, instead of living your own. Spent it locked in a basement room. You should feel at home where I've placed you today.
I offer you a chance to redeem yourself. And you'll even get a chance to put your skills to good use.
Below is a partial list of the tropes I've invoked in the movies amusingly depicting my efforts. If you can complete it - all of it, filling it with every cliché used for two seconds in my movies - you will go free.